A blog on L-O-V-E for you all.
This is for all of my friends who are grappling right now. I am going to be ultra pretentious and act like I have something substantial to say about a massive and perplexing subject.
Increasingly, I have lately been talking with friends and dear ones, and these friends and dear ones have sat with me and have shared in mutual commiseration over this fickle, painful, messy, head-scratching thing called love. We eventually come to find that it is less like the movies, and more like our favorite songs. It turns out that people wrote those songs with more than just a catchy tune in mind. There was a deeper, underlying pain, frustration or gob-smackedness that preceded it.
Further complications come when we realize our own parents can’t even explain it. They can tell us that it worked for them, but they don’t have the key or the potion and we begin to feel a nagging sense of resentment towards them and their apparent happiness and ‘luck.’ Honestly, how can we be jealous of our own parents? We are the products of their unions. It’s like being jealous of ourselves. Or is it?
It’s really quite discouraging.
C.S. Lewis said of love, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” As usual, I believe he intended this statement to be a little esoteric and facetious, but there is a definite trend in this direction.
Without fail, all of my hurt, fed up, or heartbroken friends agree that the best plan of action is to continue on with their lives and take their hearts with them, but making sure to “…wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries,” as a diversion from all that is real and painful, locking it up in a casket or coffin.
But my brothers and sisters, my heart has been both wrung and broken before, as Lewis stated with such surety regarding the inevitable trajectory of love. But it has also been made unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable. And let me tell you, the latter was the real misery. It was the real wrung and brokenness.
I enjoy the idea of love. It makes turds out of all of us and basically turns us into children in both the best and worst senses. And to tell you the truth, I think people acting like children isn’t that bad of a thing (said the immature girl). Sure, killing for love and going Othello on people’s derrieres could be potentially very dangerous and wrong, but there is a wonderment to love that I don’t believe anyone should be without.
Additionally, in the last few months, several of my friends have told me of stories in which they went out on a limb for love, and as a result of little or no return, they felt like incinerating their bodies, and some, literally attempted it (ok, not really).
Well, I’ve also gone out on a few limbs before, and I’ve got to say, it is always a great and dreadful day. I never feel more alive than when I do such things, and honestly, instead of desisting and giving in to my awesome potential to be a very mean old cuss, single and bereft of all compassion and tears, I find that I kind of prefer the messy alternative: The person who keeps others on their proverbial toes…including myself.
Thus, comes my response to all of life’s tough questions:
“I would walk five hundred miles
and I would walk five hundred more.
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
to fall down at your door.
DA DA DA!”
Join in if you please, but only if you have a really good/ bad Scottish accent. That’s right, I mean YOU, James McAvoy.
Furthermore, if you or someone you know has experienced this thing called love, and more specifically, have made it work--don't be selfish, share with the class. Leave a little comment that can linger on the minds of my MASSIVE amounts of blog subscribers. We'll turn this blog into something REALLY useful, like, Judge Judy. Yeah.