Sunday, September 20, 2009
You are a very beautiful "HERE WE ARE! SUNSET AND CAMDEN!"
You’d think that my blog would be filled to the gills with stories about California by now, and alas, it has not been. That does not, however, mean that I am not filled to the gills with stories about California. Believe you me, they’re all I have.
I am here. I am safe. The move went almost suspiciously better than I could have ever imagined. I love my place (swaaaaanky) and my roommate, and all is well on that front.
In other news--
Job Status: Temp.
Where: Anywhere that wants me.
Preference: Something that is actually in my field of expertise.
Progress so far: One waaaay wacko temp job assignment, with a better one pending.
Let it be known that I try to be an open minded person and never make a judgment about someone or something until I’ve met them or tried it once. Let’s just say that I’ve been meeting and trying a whole lot lately, and so far, I find that California is filled with helpful, friendly, wise, normal people. It is also filled with d-bags, morons, phonies, wannabes, jerk faces, psychos, crooks, and prostitutes (and I don’t mean people who sell their bodies). However, I have failed to see how this is really any different than where I used to live. After all, isn’t this the case with most of America? You find the people that make you proud to call yourself an American, and then you meet the people that make you want to move to St. Tropez with Johnny Depp (which, I guess some of us want to do either way).
But I digress….
In short, I am hopeful, I am remaining positive and I am definitely, definitely, definitely…a lot tanner.
California is a culture shock in and of itself, but L.A is like it’s own country with it’s own language and thousands of dialects; most of which include understanding what it is to get your eyelashes tinted, what short really is, and how to shave your legs, eat breakfast, put on a skirt, and read a script—all while driving down the 101. Luckily, I have not learned that last part of the language yet, but I’m sure it’s pure, deadly fun.
Let me give you a humorous dose of the 6 most common phrases you will hear when moving to L.A (to prepare you).
1) “Get a GPS! Duh!” (To which you reply, $400! Duh!)
2) “It’s only like…. 20 minutes away.” (To which you reply: “Really? San Diego is 20 minutes away?)*
3) “You’ve gotta have a lot of passion to do well out here.” (To which you reply, “A passion fruit lollipop doesn’t count, harlot!” and knock the candy out of their hands)
4) “It’s who you know.” (At which point I always pound my fist on a counter and say, “My family BUILT this country!”)
5) “You look like Tina Fey.” (To which you reply, “I am Tina Fey.”)
6) (and my most favorite) “My great uncle’s barber had a cousin who once wrote a joke for Jay Leno that totally almost aired. Do you want me to call him? I’ll see if he can get you a job at NBC.” (To which you respond, “Uhhh, knock yourself out?”)
On a more stellar note: the weather is amazing here. Everything you could ever possibly want to do or even not do is within your reach. The beach is minutes away (like, uhh, 20 minutes?*) and lastly, you will never forget when your favorite shows or movies come out, because they basically put them on every billboard and your bathroom mirror to remind you. . . or else!
Anyway, I’m excited for the rest of my adventure out here and I promise to be a better blogger.
* I have found that most all Southern Californians believe that practically everything is just 20 minutes away. I hate to break it to you, but….it isn’t. It just isn’t, ok?