Tuesday, July 6, 2010

You are a very beautiful simmer.

Have You Ever Been Mellow?

I feel like an over-privileged, rich, upper-cruster. So many movies have depicted it. The rich adolescent/adult has been over-stimulated so they amble around, steal each others yachts, and cause mayhem all in the name of unfamiliarity. I have done none of the above, and I am not a rich upper cruster (maybe a lower-decker?) but suddenly I see the ridiculous reasoning behind it all (and no, this is not a defense for it).

I was telling my sister today that I'm not bored, because I've no reason to be...there's always something to do. But the word for me lately is unimpressed. I'm vanilla. Some may call this depression, but I don't think its that either. All of the things that usually fill me with boundless excitement are as of late, kind of lackluster, and I feel quite tepid about it all. The strangest thing of all is that I feel quite happy and very content.

My sister made a pretty great observation though. She said, "I think you're getting older." At first I flinched at the remark, thinking she was calling me old. Then, she explained that a notable part about maturing in life is that the things that once thrilled will mellow in your eyes, and become fond pastimes, but you find that you must progress to the next steps. In the mean time, everything else seems...rather...familiar. And we all know what familiarity breeds.

So, some suggestions were to stop doing all of those things I usually love and fill me with excitement--cold turkey. And then, as I start doing other, unfamiliar things in their places, whether they sound exciting or not, those things that used to excite me will hopefully re-ignite my interest again.

I'm sure this is a feeling that many of you, my friends, have experienced at some point in your life, I'm not sure to what extent, but I would really like to hear what you guys do when you feel this way. Is it common? Keep in mind, I don't mean depression, or sadness, or boredom. I mean a general vanillaness. Let me give you more symptoms:

-Any line of work (even that which you most want to pursue) seems uninteresting
-The books and movies that you typically turn to for a pick me up, inspiration, or for happiness just aren't producing those results
-Your favorite people in the whole wide world are still you favorites, but you're kind of not jazzed about doing anything, although, you know you should want to and that you normally would want to.
-Vacation planning/plans that once THRILLED you, sound like 'ok ideas' instead of ultra awesome holidays!
-You usually like to write at just about any time in your life, and you find that you have really no inspiration or motivation to put a single word to the page...but you're not worried about it.

As I finish this blog, I realize that I might just be experiencing a strange case of, "Haven't we been here before? I swear we passed that light post ten minutes ago," or post-spec-script-writing-mania. In the words of my friend Will Kindrick, "who's to know, who's to say?"

I've probably never been happier in my life though. Now that's a doozy. Diagnose that!

Smiley face.

-Courtney

PS) You should probably go check out this little beauty.

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