I have the overwhelming desire to cook. Cook? Cook! Is this what nesting is, in a non-pregnant, or birdish way? I can't be sure. I suddenly want to learn to use every single awesome culinary gadget we were gifted (gratefully gifted) and try and attempt to cook things I have ne'er dared cook. In fact, most of these dishes I wouldn't even look at since I have traditionally used recipe books as a laptop table to write blog entries on or as temporary coasters. I would reveal a couple of these recipes right now, but in order to be truly domestic and surprise my husband, I will not, and thus win this first wife battle: being demure and mysterious.
I am neither, but the thought amuses me.
This whole week I have been reminded of a book I once heard about in a humanities class: Fascinating Womanhood. The title keeps rolling around and around my brain as I have unpacked a million boxes, put together my kitchen, listened to A LOT of Florence + The Machine, made our bed every morning (because I am the last one out of it, only fair) and watched a girly movie or two, followed by a guy movie or two. There is no particular purpose that I bring Fascinating Womanhood up (besides, the book being absurd and beyond what we would classify as sexist and unrealistic) but to illuminate some of my weird thought processes this week. I look at Tom's toiletries, I look at mine. I evaluate Tom's decorating style, I evaluate mine. These things are somewhat diametrically opposed and yet, we make it work. Fascinating womanhood, and manhood, too!
I noticed yesterday that I watch less movies than Tom. Not a bad or a good thing, but a slightly shocking thing. As I evaluated the reasons for this, I had an a-ha moment (Possibly somewhere in the middle of listening to A-ha's "Take on Me" while putting silverware in a drawer). The realization: I take movies WAY to seriously these days. I feel like I have to absorb each one, in its own time, and then ruminate, be upset or joyous and pondering for a few days, and then consciously choose my next one with the utmost wisdom and precision.
I started to tell him how I watched a movie on Netflix as I unpacked yesterday and immediately I went into a five minute sermon-like-rant about one of the plot points that really perplexed and bothered me. No joke, I could hardly sleep last night! I'm pretty positive Tom tuned me out somewhere in the middle, but he is too polite and sweet to tell me so. That being the case, I realized something: rarely does Tom let things like this creep into his conversation. Occasionally, he will tell me how he did or didn't like something in a movie or a book or a song, but then, press on and we're over it. I aspire to be like this. It's not passive either. It's just learning to put things in perspective and not letting them consume your every waking thought. For me, there has been too much of that my whole life, and a heaping helping of it lately. Fascinating Courtneyhood?
That's a beauty of marriage. I am sure I will teach Tom to be more expressive and he'll teach me to be more perspective driven. Understanding the ebb and flow of life a little more could help us as spouses and as people, I'm sure. We'll be Mary and Martha and vice versa.
So, with that said, here are some pictures from the ol' h-moon, that I haven't returned from yet. Call me in six months, perhaps I'll have perfected Ukrainian Borsht by then.
(Lanakai Beach. Oahu, HI)