Tuesday, June 28, 2011

You are a very beautiful lazy dynamite!

Happy 100th blog post everyone!

(Very first blog image)

That's right, this here blog, after years of meandering in and out of frequency, has just reached it's 100th. Thank you to my readers (my friends and family) that have made me realize that I shouldn't give up on blogging like I have with almost everything else in my life, even though my blog has a crazy name.

The title of this post is actually fitting for the 100th entry, and yet it wasn't intended.

Paul McCartney wrote a little known song called, "Lazy Dynamite."

I am a screenwriter and sometimes I exhaust my efforts by trying to do too much writing at once. I burn myself out and don't come back to the script for a long time. It is cyclical. It is sad.

Finally, I hear this song, and I know what it means; or, I get the irony. I get that even if it is lit slowly, it is still dynamite. It will still explode.

(stage 1 of boarding)

In my case, I have learned to pace myself in the last week. I have set goals for my script everyday-- small, manageable goals. For example, I will go to bed the night before and say "Alright, even if I don't do laundry tomorrow, I WILL write 40 scene cards." and actually, that proved to be too much for one day, so I broke it up even further. The next night, I wrote the goal, "Tomorrow, even WITH laundry, I am going to write every scene card for ACT II." And kaboom! It worked.

(Stage 2 of boarding)

You see, the thing about me and probably the thing about a lot of us, is that I believe that if I want to be good at something or want a perfect finished product, it better come all at once or not at all. What a massive failure on my part. It is why I have never felt like I have mastered anything. Practice makes perfect but it also makes PRACTICE, and for a lot of us, practice isn't good enough. We have to beat the bullies up at the end of Karate Kid NOW!

But, I'm learning, you know. I'm learning everyday. It isn't just ebb and flow either. It is pacing myself, and realizing that it isn't about finishing first, it is about finishing.

I have always been a late bloomer, and I don't know what's wrong with that, but it has always given me anxiety. And now I am realizing.... who cares if it was late! Didn't I bloom?

I suppose the reason why we worry about it is because we learn how bad procrastination is our whole lives and we assume that this is what 'late blooming' is. It isn't. Procrastination IS bad. Not doing anything with your day IS bad. But doing things at the pace you can handle, the pace that actually gets you results with no burn-out, is the best thing ever. Because you WILL cross the finish line and then start the next race when you can.

So, how does this relate to my blog? Well, although it has been around for almost three years and only has 100 entries....it has 100 entries! I haven't deleted it or completely abandoned it. I have realized that it means something to me. It means a LOT to me in fact. It is my lazy dynamite.

Here is some more of that dynamite exploding. It's been a great three years.

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