Wednesday, October 5, 2011

You are a very beautiful HRH Laments

What do you do when your husband leaves you for forever? You do stuff that you had to do when you were single.

WHAT? Why would I do those things again!? That's why I got married--hello! It's like the universe doesn't get this or something.

I got married so I would NEVER have to go to the post office or change my car's oil, or shower ever again. And then my husband goes on a business trip, and looks like someone forgot to get with the program.

Suddenly I've had to wake myself up--with my OWN alarm clock. I've had to make dinner--FOR ONE. I've had to go to work and slice my OWN apples before I leave. And now-- I have to hang up my own clothes.

It seems like the universe forgot that Kate Middleton and I share servants, so yeah, I've been CLEANING! And to top it all off, found out this afternoon that my early morning harpist has been let go due to budget cuts, so, happy millennium to me. What's next, I'll have to do my own jogging?

Tom, come home. That marriage license was a contract, remember? You do all the above items, and in return I look gorgeous all the time. Seems like I've kept my end up PRETTY well.

Sheesh.

Here's the view from Windsor Castle today. Pretty lonely. How will I make it through my yoga class tonight?
See? It even rained because the the sky is weeping for me. WEEPING!

3 comments:

  1. because i am a selfish wench, i can relate--my husband is now incapacitated for at least two months, and i have therefore lost my personal slave. i took out the garbage for the first time in over 2 years yesterday. my life is really hard. his pain and agony are not even worth mentioning next to mine!

    but at least he is here with me, being useless. may yours return to you shortly.

    also, i'm very jealous of your juicer. heaven. cuz, remember... mine's in a sling. why does the universe HATE me??? ; )

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  2. You have to look at the only bright side...when you cook, you can just cook the same amount and then you have leftovers so you don't have to cook as much!

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  3. Elyssa, I'm so glad someone else understands my pain. And I hate when my juicer gets put in a sling. Ugh. :)

    And Danielle you're so right. I actually enjoyed eating several things for a week, and it was nice to have it all to myself. #reallyfatnow. :)

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