Monday, April 8, 2013

You Are a Very Beautiful: First Ladies are Doin' it For Themselves

I echo the remarks of many commentators on youtube. I am appalled by this interview and the way the media likes to manipulate footage by NOT editing it at all. Wolves. What married women doesn't say she is a busy, single, mother? Even if your husband is the President of the United States, who doesn't slip up every once in a while and call themselves 'a busy, single mother'? I sometimes forget I don't have kids, and that I'm married, and I call myself a busy, single mother. What of it? Sometimes I'll even slip so far as to call myself "Good Time Greta" and leave messages on past boyfriends Facebook's that say, "For a good time call..." but it's just a slip-up - a remnant of a past life - so sue me! It's not because your husband plays golf and goes to basketball games in any and all of of his apparently abundant free time, and it's not because you and your kids spend most of your free time on private jets to exotic Islands on tax-payer dollars.

Being married to the President of the United States makes it even easier to slip-up and call yourself single. It's not like they call you 'The First Lady' everyday or anything, a constant reminder that you're there because you're married and decidedly not single. And it's not like you feverishly campaign for and with your husband for months and years on end and have an entire staff of people raising your kids with you. Listen, sometimes with a President of the United States as your husband, it can feel like he's not there....erm, that is, HE IS there. He's the most actively engaged father ever. I don't feel even remotely like a single mother! Obama 2016!

Interviewer: But you just said that sometimes-

Me: What I'm trying to say is, the size of our sodas is making everybody fat, and if we just make them smaller no one will be fat anymore and single mothers won't struggle so much. Sometimes I wonder why people haven't thought about this with drugs and alcohol? I bet if we created a sort of 'prohibition' of these things, we'd have a super svelte, Madonna-armed country and no one would ever want for a drink.  We'd cleanse the world of alcoholics, thugs, mob bosses, rich people, and most importantly, obesity. Maybe if we just started regulating everything a little more then people would have more money in their pockets and less fat on their ribs-

Interview: You mean putting in place more regulatory acts that preclude almost any congressional oversight, like Dodd-Frank?
Me: Exactly! More regulations + smaller snickers = Utopian society. Bam! We'll call it the Doughnuts & Franks act. Deficit obliterated as well as nasty, fat conservative people. Erm, that is, I feel like this interview got away from me?

Interviewer: Um, maybe we should reschedule?

Me: Oh my gosh! Could we? I've got this Jimmy Fallon thing I've gotta do, need to work on my Tootsee Roll.

Interviewer: Of course.

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